Belize was not originally on our travel list, although upon recommendation and further research we decided missing it out would be a mistake. First we headed to the Island of Ambergris Caye, dominated by a small town named San Pedro. A 90 minute water taxi was required for the journey. Departing Mexico was smooth, tickets were easy to purchase, luggage checked in and immigration surprisingly fast. We both acknowledged that there didn’t seem to be many people waiting for the boat-approx 15. Therefore we presumed it would be a comfortable journey and more spacious than we had perceived, due to it being low season.It was announced that our boat had arrived, we soon learnt how wrong our predictions were. Struck with confusion at the incredibly small water taxi we were greeted with, and then frowning with concern, as we ducked into the claustrophobic space taking us inside. There were windows which represented more of a peephole you might use to inspect unknown visitors or spy on neighbours. Too high to see out of and not large enough to fully evaluate. It was more like a submarine, except with a very small bonus of two open windows, which sadly we had not been lucky enough to ‘shotgun’.

The boat began and it was extremely turbulent, we are not exaggerating when we say that our rear ends were lifted out of our seats, then back down with a forceful bang. This pattern continued for the whole journey-90 minutes of overheating, dead legs and a sore arse; to put it bluntly. Hayley needed the toilet about 60 minutes into the journey, she announced she was desperate. This desperation quickly descended into exasperation and an utterly stressful 30 minutes of leg crossing, distraction attempts, tears, tantrums, frustration….

*Usually our posts are written in third person although I’m going to switch to first temporarily to fully explain the ordeal I encountered. Imagine the most desperate you’ve ever been for the toilet. Then times it by 10. SERIOUSLY. I have been in car journeys where you beg the driver to pull over, because you think your bladder can’t take it-but all the while knowing you aren’t literally going to urinate in their car. However, this was an experience where for the first time in my life I was genuinely evaluating how one day I will look back and laugh about, “that time when I wet myself on a water taxi to Belize”. The pain in my stomach must have been similar to that of labour contractions, my bladder cried in agony as I tensed every surrounding muscle to avoid leakage. The constant wave turbulence felt like someone was banging on my bladder like a ketchup bottle, trying to squeeze it out. Sweat dripped down my forehead, tears filled my eyes and I was truly unable to speak. I could only currently consider the most dignified way I could urinate on this boat. The sandwich bags we use to prevent sun tan cream leaks? Or perhaps I could aim into our sports bottle-then ditch it? Too gross? Despite being asked to return to my seat for a third time, I pleaded with the kind woman working that I physically could no longer sit. My bladder was closer to explosion than a NASA rocket, fuelled and ready for take off. As you can imagine in the small confinements of the boat, I did not have any privacy to hide my said issue from other passengers. Honestly, I didn’t care, all I cared about was getting off the boat. It docked and I sprinted. Faster than I did at year 6 sports day when I came first in the 500m. It was a painful, stressful and utterly horrendous experience that I never want to encounter again. Although I must say I am impressed with my bladder, after genuinely believing it was going to totally cave in, it held out. Moral of the story? Don’t over hydrate yourself with H20 and then use transportation which refuses you the ability to relieve it. Or just drink less water before a journey.*

The journey to Belize had been rather an ordeal for us both. Mixed emotions of relief to be off the boat, but exasperation at what we had just experienced. Jonny admittedly found Hayley’s bladder issues utterly hilarious, if not slightly embarrassing at the same time. We were delighted to move quickly through immigration and finally arrive in San Pedro. The air scented with Caribbean spices and BBQ smoke. Friendly locals pointed us in the right direction towards our hotel and welcomed us into the beautiful Island they call home. Instantly we felt nothing but good vibes towards Belize and were excited about what was yet to come.

We headed out hunting for local cuisine, opting for a trip advisor recommended ‘Carambas’. We gulped on cocktails and experienced a local Belizean dish of Stewed Beef with Coconut Rice and Beans.

Feeling slightly giddy and very full, we headed to another bar and met up with a couple who were staying in our hotel. They lived in Belize but were vacationing on the Island, we were also joined by their adorable 7 month old baby, and a cousin who resided on San Pedro. A few rounds of drinks later, we were clued up on where to head next with thanks to our new local friends. We wanted to experience Belize as it truly is, so headed along the beach to a local bar, ’St Marlins’. Blasting out various hip hop and R&B tunes, the place was soon overspilling with Belizeans. Boasting their best dance moves, being summoned to the floor by the DJ and undoubtedly having a great time. We were definitely in the right place and a few more rums down we were joining in. Sand between our toes, a drink in hand and dancing under the stars with locals we were in their element and loving every moment.

The endless dancing made Jonny peckish, so we headed to street stalls, which were still open early hours of the morning. Two fried beef burritos later, Jonny felt satisfied and we both felt sleepy. One thing to note-water is hard to come by, we couldn’t buy a bottle anywhere at this time, so travellers stock up in your rooms before hitting the bars. It was such a fun night, Belizeans know how to have a good party!

We awoke to what was seemingly a power cut, although we soon learnt that sometimes on Sundays the government reserves electricity power until 2pm. So we showered in the dark then headed out, to escape what was an unbearably stuffy room without air conditioning at use. Eager to chill out on a beach, we began searching for the best spot, this soon turned into aimless wandering. Beautiful as San Pedro is, the beaches are disappointing/non existent. Alternatively we headed to a bar situated on the end of a pier, ‘Wet Willys’ which also had a sectioned off area for swimming. We spent the day in and out of the water on rubber rings, the suns rays caressing our skin. Smoothies, beers and Jerk Chicken also contributed to the day, overall even a hangover can’t darken the good vibes Belize brings.

It was soon Dusk and we headed back to our hotel, packed our bags ready for tomorrows departure then headed out for a final meal. We chose a much smaller, more local place to sample, which the friendly man assured us had only traditional Belizean food. Hayley being a lover of the stew, opted for the Chicken one which was served with vegetable rice and an unexpected, deep fried banana. Well, what we thought was a banana, but soon learnt was in fact a Plantain, larger and starchier, although still part of the banana family. Either way it was delicious. Jonny went with Coconut cream chicken, a unique dish we had not previously heard of.

As we strolled the streets back to our hotel for a final time, we grinned at the experiences we had encountered in just a short few days on this fabulous island. Friendly people, fantastic food and fun parties.

In our next post read about Caye Caulker, the next Belizean Island to follow from Amergris Caye, and how the they are both differ from one another.

Jonny & Hayley

🙂