Firstly this post comes with an advisory warning. If you are reading this with the prospect of finding out helpful information regarding the best areas of Tayrona National park, complete with happy memories that will make your eyes sparkle with excitement as you are soon to visit, then you should stop reading now. In short, so those who are going to stop aren’t left hanging off the edge of a cliff hanger, we hated Tayrona and would regard it a waste of time, money and energy. IF you are intrigued to find out why then please keep reading. We felt it only fair to alert anyone who is looking forward to visiting this place to be given an opportunity not to be put off by our hideous experience.

Reasons we hated Tayrona National park…

1) The bus. We genuinely nearly abolished all plans of visiting this park at the exasperation of trying to find the only bus which takes you there. On hindsight we wish we had stuck to this instinct. We walked around painfully for over an hour, endlessly consulting our map, fighting our way through bustling city crowds, querying multiple policemen. It’s like the bus stop apparently just upped and vanished. We finally learnt our prediciment wasn’t too far fetched. A local boy eventually was able to assist us, in pointing down the correct street after we had been directed north, south, east, west, upwards, downwards and any other form of mobility you can imagine. We were hurriedly bundled onto a bus, with more seats than oxygen capacity, that were definitely not designed for the width of westerners-and we are not large ones of that! We were informed by the guy next to us that they moved the bus stop last week. Brilliant. People were chaotically herded onto the bus. We were squashed on the back row, our knees literally forced against the metal infront, rucksacks on our lap with only a small window for air. Spanish rap boomed from the broken speakers and this was a painful journey now for our heads not just our knees. Where to disembark was a guessing game, luckily we were told by some other backpackers. The most uncomfortable form of transport, which we can only imagine is similar to when animals are cruelly left in cardboard boxes with pencil pierced holes for air.

2) The Walk. Tip for any lunatics that do visit this park-get your stomachs full before you walk to accommodation. The map is confusing as anything, you will find yourselves lonely walking for around 20 minutes and then a random group of people will appear-always heading in the opposite direction. Do not listen to anyone about how long the walk takes, double whatever they say. We are fit with good stamina and enjoy trekking, but this was annoying rather than difficult. Endless up and down wooden steps, uselss signage. Several times wondering whether we were going the right way at all-even though there is no alternate route. The scenery is not beautiful, you are inclosed inside a forrestry of trees, with no outlook until around a third of the way. Considering other views we have experienced, this was not impressive to us. We arrived at the first lot of accomodation, offering hammocks, tents and cabins. We did not want to get eaten alive so were eager to opt for the latter, although we soon learnt the price of one of these for ONE NIGHT was $250!!!!! Jaws dropped we continued to the next site. They offered us an alternative of a cabin room, for a much more reasonable, local price. However the site was almost empty and cleanliness questionable. Feeling there was no option left we continued to ____.?? Again, we were told it would take around 30 mins…over an hour later as dusk creeped in on us, we finally arrived. The walk overall is boring, non scenic and a waste of time.

3) San Juan??. Supposedly the best place to stay, a locals choice which is said to have stunning beaches that you are able to swim in. Other beaches the waves are too dangerous. We arrived to be offered a hammock (HA!) or camping. Left without a choice we took the latter. Sweaty, smelly and pissed off we wanted a shower desperately, although one look at the Queue was enough to make us explore the site first. Within 10 minutes all had been explored, there was 1 unappealing restaurant and 2 unimpressive beaches. We are unsure how you would swim in them, the waves were enourmous and crashing into rocks. I think ‘Paddle in the edges’ is a much more suited description as to what people were doing. We headed back to the showers and queued for an hour and a half. There are only 4 showers and usually around 200 people staying here. Yep. Alligned next to each other are cubicles with a shower curtain, and separated by a wall the height of Hayley’s shoulders (she’s around 5ft 4’). Prime opportunity for perverts but not for a good wash. Unable to remove our swimwear, we washed in the freezing water as quickly as we could. Next, the abismal food option of their restaurant. A menu more limited than our fridge at home (bare in mind we haven’t been home for over 2 months). The result is poor service and below average food. Sigh. Everyone here was mostly local, a few english speakers could be heard in the form of european accents, but our boredem was beyond ridiculous. We played card games and wrote some blog posts before retiring to the dampness of our tent for what was a less than average night sleep. Alarms were ready set to get out of here as soon as the sun was up.

4) SNAKES. We arose the next day, and were second in line to order breakfast, which according to the sign is served from 8am. Several members of staff passed the continuingly long queue, ignoring everyone and did not begin taking orders until 8.45. ugh. A few crappy pieces of toast, which crumbled in the mouth were really not worth waiting for. We began to retreat from san juan??? Shortly after our unsatisfactory breakfast. We wanted to beat the heat, so set ourselves a pace, motivated by the urge to escape Tayrona. We made it around half way where Jonny stopped so suddenly that Hayley walked straight into him. Frozen in silence, we watched a long, black snake, slither across the path infront of us. Concerned we upped our pace further, cautiously looking out for more snakes.

5) Prices. Our tiny, crappy, two man tent cost us almost double the amount we had paid for a hotel room in Santa Marta the previous night. Plus we had a private bathroom, cable TV and the room itself was enourmous. If you’re a student then prices for the park are great, luckily Jonny had his card but Hayley did not. Her ticket was literally about 80 percent more expensive as a result. We can’t recall exact park prices.

6) The Hype. This park is hugely over hyped to say the least and we are baffled as to why this is. We have visited multiple national parks and Tayrona has nothing to boast about. What we experienced in central america does not even compare, but we can assure you they are much more beautiful, with nicer walks, scenery and beaches. How anybody can think the beaches are pretty really escapes us. We’ve also been to several national parks since this trip to Tayrona and again they don’t even come close in comparison.

Good things about Tayrona… (because we don’t want to be completely biased)…

1) Chocolate rolls. There is a lady who owns a tiny bakery somewhere along the walk-don’t ask us where because the signs and maps are terrible/non existent and it’s a miracle we stumbled across this. She sells famous chocolate rolls, similar to a chocolate croissant, although it is literally a bread roll, filled with chocolate. It was really tasty but very sickly and filling, we shared one and that was more than enough. Even for Hayley who is a massive chocolate fiend and will demolish multiple bars in minutes.

I’m afraid that’s it folks, literally the only good experience we had was this chocolate roll, providing much needed energy after our pathetic breakfast. Overall we feel Tayrona is over hyped and a waste of time. It was a lot of effort with zero reward, especially as it is so far north in the country, it’s a really awkward location to get to. Considering our experiences we would advise sticking to Cartegena and below. Even Santa Marta was a dull town, with nothing to do or attractions to see. Our posts are always positive and full of adventerous tales and amazing experiences. However we really want this blog to be entirely honest. People believe travelling to be all sunshine and roses with no hiccups, which is why we try to highlight bad experiences alongside the good-such as terrible bus journeys! It’s just that the bad is usually balance with some good, although with this post that is not the case.

Some people go to Tayrona and love it, so don’t take our word as this is just the opinion of two people. But do note-we love trekking, beaches and national parks but hated Tayrona. We are also familiar with roughing it-i.e. camping, as we have done on previous travels and are due to at later dates on this trip. So this is not the opinion of two naïve people who thought Tayrona would come without challenges!

We would be interested to hear your experiences, and if you are going and chose to read this post-GOOD LUCK! In all seriousness, we genuinely hope that you have a better experience!

Jonny & Hayley 🙂